Future Plans

“Give a man a fish; and you will feed him for a day. Show him how to catch a fish; and you will feed him for his lifetime.”

I am a dreamer. Before entering college, I want to become a fashion designer. I always dream of making dresses in my own shop. I thought that being a fashion designer was my real purpose in life. And until now, I still think that I was born to be a fashion designer.

  

My parents know that I really want to become a fashion designer. And I am a firm believer that parents have an obligation to support their children’s dream. But my parents told me that I wouldn’t earn a lot from making dresses and making people happy. That time I was really frustrated and depressed. My parents have high hopes that I would become an engineer and earn a lot someday. Because of certain issues I’m not able to enroll to a fashion school. Instead, I entered an Engineering school. My mom told me that I could survive engineering because I have the talent in math (Okay, it’s not a talent but an analytical skill). That time, I could imagine myself as one of the characters in Series of Unfortunate Events. 

Although I have entered an engineering school, my dream wouldn’t change. I still want to become a fashion designer. I tried to like engineering. Well, I think engineering is cool. I have learned that everything in this world can be explained through physics and chemistry. And I could explain some science behind the sci-fi movies. You see, engineering is for people who have passion for explaining phenomenon with physics theories while applying math. To be honest, I had the hardest time self studying the principles of engineering. It is like eating your most hated food because it is the food on earth. And every time I’m having a hard time in college, I usually blame my parents for putting me into this situation. And obviously I don’t understand why I have to enter engineering. Still, my poker face is on. I don’t usually express what’s on my mind. For me, it would just make the situation worse. Besides, no one will care. I just promised myself that as soon as I finished my units, I will look for a job, save, and then enroll to a fashion school. It became my driving force in college. My friends could tell that it is my plan and it is what I really wanted.

Recently, I have finished my units. I am Graduate of B.S. Electronics Engineering. Sounds cool, eh? So as promised, I have looked for a job. Of course, I look for a job that will suit my program in college. I went to Manila and sent my C.V. to different companies. Since I have graduated a cool program, my hopes are high that I would find a job easily. Unfortunately, even call centers don’t want entry level applicants. I’ve realized that I’m not just an entry level applicant; I’m also a non-experience graduate. In short, “you won’t fit here girl. Go get yourself titled first!” My resume is just a piece of paper with my information on it. And no one wants my resume with no experience and no title. Geee… Is this the reality?

The frustration I felt when I haven’t enrolled to a fashion school was just a portion of the frustration I felt when I was rejected by many companies. I can’t save money if I don’t have a job. This is the saddest part. I finally understood the reason why my parents want me to pursue to have a title. I cried a lot because I have to face the truth that I have proven myself wrong. It’s not enough that I have my dream and the will to do it.

Now, my mom and dad are right. I am still a firm believer that parents have an obligation to support their child. My parents have supported me all along. I just haven’t realized that they don’t want me to experience the harsh reality that people will judge me from what I have written on my resume. But sometimes children are too stubborn to realize that in an instant. Maybe my parents just want me to learn it on my own that is why they let me look for a job right after graduating. For the past 21 years, they have given me a fish to live. It’s now time to let me watch them catch the fish for me to feed myself for the rest of my life.   

6 months of my life wouldn’t harm so much if I’m going to use for review. It would be a big mistake if I’m going to spend my next 6 months waiting for another company call. I know now the importance of having a title. It’s not just for pride. It’s not just a simple title. It will serve as a constant reminder to those who rejected me, “Hey! I’m not just a graduate. I am an Engineer.”

We always misunderstood our parents. We always put the blame to their shoulders. But it is us who make those mistakes. We shall never put them the blame, all they just wanted is for us to be successful. Most parents tend to over react (like mine). But we should thank them and love their advices because those were the advices with love and care. And no one will do that for us expect them.

Mom, Dad, if you are reading this, don’t laugh because it’s too corny or don’t cry because it’s too cheesy; just continue reading.. It is me, your child wrote everything I wanted to say. Thanks for the second chance for the review. I know now how much it is worth to have the title. Expect me to focus. This is for you guys. I love you.

And for the future, hang on. I’m still going to be a designer. An Engineer-Fashion designer. I know God will give me the right time when I’m going to enroll to a fashion school. Just have the little faith.

Hold on to your dreams. And believe it will still come true.

Kisses!